Trauma
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive;
and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
– Maya Angelou
Is it trauma?
“I am not sure that what I experienced, as hard as it was, can be considered as a traumatic event.”
I hear that quite often, and I wonder what most people think when they hear the word trauma. You may not think that you experienced something traumatic in your life, but your body and your whole being will know.
It is not about the word trauma but the experience itself.
For example, two friends are going on the same ride on the roller coaster. One will finish the ride, feeling excited, happy, and moving on to the next ride while the other will feel dizzy, anxious, and sick.
The ride was the same, same ups and downs and loops, same length, same view, but the experience of each was different.
We all react differently to our life’s experiences; and more times than not, we will respond to our present incidents from our past experiences. What feels not as painful to one can feel very painful to another. You don’t have to go through a horrible life-threatening event to experience trauma.
Trauma lives in our body.
I can jump and feel a rush of anxiety to the sound of a police siren. My body responds to the sound of the siren due to my experience with wars.
I know I am not in a war zone, but my body will react physically to an older experience/memory that was challenging.
You may say, “Well, it is a big event; it was a war!” True, but many of us react to things that did not involve war, accidents, or abuse. Some respond to people’s behavior, comments, smells, and places.
Different kinds of experiences and trauma all live in our body.
It is correct that there are different kinds of trauma.
However, I believe it is about how people experience their life’s events from the moment of birth to childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and during the elderly years.
We are all different and unique, which makes us special.
If you are in pain, does it matter what causes the pain? Does it matter to know all the details of the story that created that pain?
What matters is that you are in pain, and the pain you are struggling with is unique to you and your experiences.
As you should not compare happiness between yourself and others, you should not compare suffering and pain either.
What matters is that you can have support to work on reducing and eventually healing the pain. You can feel better and heal.
It’s not about the ride – but healing.
Same as the roller coaster, we both can be on the same ride and have a completely different experience.
Pain is pain, and it is not to be judged or compared. Accept what you must and heal what you can heal.
Resistance is not usually a negative thing.
In most situations, I notice that when the client is resisting, it is a form of protection. There is a need to feel safe and protect the pain.
If you don’t feel ready to talk about specific experiences, that should be respected. I must be aware of where you are in the process so that we can communicate and allow the authenticity of the process to evolve.
It is not simple to open up about painful experiences. Sharing yourself and being vulnerable is challenging. This courageous step is essential and leads to healing. However, the sharing process should emerge in your own time.
I offer you a respectful and caring process as you exhibit courage.
Meet yourself outside the pain.
Take the time you need to cross the bridge to healing. As long as you move, a few steps forward or a couple backward – or taking a break to catch your breath – you are still in motion. You will thrive and fulfill the endless opportunities of yourself. Don’t let those who hurt you continue to hurt you by not breaking the cycle.
Heal body and mind.
One of the ways to heal the scars left in our body is to use the body as the healing vessel. There is no need to continue to relive those painful events, day after day and 24/7. You know you deserve to be free, and even if you forgot or can’t believe you deserve freedom or that it is also possible, it truly is and can be yours.
No more what-ifs; just work on the problem.
I would love to help you meet yourself outside of those painful cycles and memories.
Your body holds not just the scars of the painful situations, but also the ability to heal and create new, healthier life experiences and new body memories for the next days to come.
After healing, a new you will emerge.
“The strange resonant word ‘Instar’ describes the stage between molt development. As a caterpillar splits its skin, instar implies something both celestial and ingrown, heavenly and disastrous… and perhaps change is commonly like that.” – Rebecca Solnit, Getting Lost
Let’s work together, so your change can begin.
